I have been suprised this whole pregnancy about how people react to the news. I sent a group email to my colleagues on monday (all 7 of them) and got two emailed congrats and thats it…The youngest girl who is my age IM me and said how excited she was but the others didnt seem to care at all. One coworker who has always mothered me i thought would be super excited. She came back to work today and asked why i was going on leave, i told her to read the rest of the email and waited for her gleeful squeal. Nothing. Literally, she didnt say anything at all. Then she got up to go get some groceries and came back in smiled and said congrats then left again.
Even my dad had no reaction at all. He told my sister the next day that he wasnt ready to be a grandad but he guessed he better get used to it. I was like huh? Firstly im going to be 30 next year, he had to expect it was on the cards and secondly how is being a grandad something you have to prepare for? You see the kid for occasional visits, its not like you are raising them. Then he said he was concerned that my BD cant support me and would always be on the road (he is a truck driver) when my sis told me this i just laughed, not only does he earn as much as i do with the capacity to earn 6figures if he needs to (besides the fact i work fulltime and pull $70k) but he works in town, 9-5. No idea where they both got the idea he worked away from home from considering i have told them both several times that he works in town.
So is it just me or do you at least act excited for others even if you dont really care? At my old workplace people would hug and squeal and be really excited for you, even the guys. Thats what i was expecting and instead im really bummed that no one appears to care. Its not that i wanted attention but a little excitement would have made me feel like they were happy for me. Now i have 5months before maternity leave of it just being really akward 😦 Im assuming my silent coworkers reaction is because im not married but i had expected a workplace of all women in their 50’s to 60’s would be happy for a new baby in the mix.
Other mothers in my group have had the same reaction and apparently had bad gossip behind their backs “Is she even married” is the most common one. I mean come on people, this isnt the victorian era, why do we have to be married to be happy? A child should be and exciting event in your life no matter if you are married, defacto or single. The two events arent linked in any way and i know plenty of couples who are way happier, are wonderful families and are unmarried. Marriage back in the day was because there was no maternity leave. So when you had a child you as a woman had no income so relied on your husband to support you. You needed that security. Not to mention the idea of divorce was unheard of where as now why get married if its so easy to get divorced anyway. Now though i get 6months fully paid leave and there is no need for my BD to support me financially so why would we get married? It’s literally just a big party and no different to being in a relationship. You can break up or get divorced, one is just more expensive than the other lol
Thankfully at my work they seem to be taking the, if you cant say anything nice dont say it at all, approach. At least thats better than nasty comments. I guess.
So when did it become the norm to not be excited for others lives?