The statistics

Can you tell the theme of the next two weeks. When will bub arrive!? I have been googling, I know a dangerous habit, the different factors for going over or under your due date. ImageSo far it looks like despite people saying most first time mums go over their due date, that’s actually not right. Its more that second and third time mums are less likely to go over. Does that make sense? FTM are 64% likely to deliver on or before their DD.  Only 36% go over and only statistically by one week. From what I can see the majority of babies are born between 39-40 weeks. So according to this I have about a week to wait…BUT as I have said before I have two due dates. My last menstrual period (LMP) date is 4th July. Which makes me more likely to have bub this week. The reason they changed it to the 13th was that my first ultrasound put it back a week and a half. Im not convinced its accurate as I would have gotten a positive home pregnancy result way before the box says its possible. My MW said that they usually go by the LMP but as I had already applied for leave from work based on the 13th (Didn’t see the MW until 12weeks) she would record that as my official DD. Having said that when I went for my last ultrasound two weeks ago I couldn’t help but notice it said that I was measuring 37+5weeks when I was actually 36+3.

I also looked up if GD makes for earlier deliveries. Apparently no, but there does seem to be a high rate of doctors recommending induction for GD patients around 37-38weeks. I don’t want to be induced as I am not a fan of needles and drugs or gods forbid a C-section.  Apparently having GD also doubles your chances of getting pre-eclampsia. I hadn’t heard that, its amazing how different doctors tell us different things. A heap of other women were also told that GD causes babies lungs to be under developed, which the rest of us weren’t told…I always take things I find on the internet with a grain of salt but apparently when the other women in the BabyCenter group asked their doctors about the lung thing they confirmed it. Maybe they only mention it on a need to know basis?

In other news. I bought a second hand baby sling for $15 yesterday because we aren’t using a capsule and the pram still hasn’t arrived, so its a bit of a plan B. I have heard they aren’t the best and its about 50/50 those who like them but I needed something! We also got a heater for the nursery but after testing it last night the room only got to 16deg with it closed off and the heater on high for a few hours. That’s not going to be warm enough. Its a small room and the heater is a 5 bar oil heater which I have used in the past and its been really effective. So im testing it again today with the curtains closed. Im hoping I can get it up to at least 20deg. I can always warmly dress bub and it will only really be an issue at night when the main heater is off (its at the other end of the house so no point running it all night).

 

Mummy wars

Im really sad that I have felt the need for this blog. I knew it would happen and im no stranger to it but today I received two nasty comments about my last post. One caused me to leave my facebook mothers group which has become less helpful and more judgemental, the other was on this blog. Im not sure when it became acceptable to criticize another persons way of life or to imply they are harming or killing their child. Not to mention doing this to a complete stranger whom you have no idea of who they are or have any knowledge of their life.

Its simple, this blog is my opinion as is any blog. I make it because I enjoy reading about others lives and how they live day to day. I don’t always agree, in fact I often don’t agree with their choices, but I never ever negatively comment, just because its not my view, doesn’t make it wrong. There is no right or wrong way to live your life or raise your children. I cant stress that enough. If you don’t agree with me im happy for you to say so but there is no need to make the comment negative or suggest that im an idiot or that I deserve for something to happen to my child or those around me. Thats not okay. I know several other bloggers recently who have also posted about this and it saddens me that manners have dropped so low. If a friend comes to me and expresses an opinion I don’t agree with I don’t berate them, I tell them I disagree then I drop it. If they continue to press the topic I just smile and nod because they have the right to their own opinion, and they respect that I don’t have to agree I just have to accept their choice.

I have found that in the pregnancy and parenting world this is a lot more evident. Instead of telling me that if I don’t breastfeed or go back to work that im harming my child, how about accepting that not everyones circumstances are the same as yours, you could support my decision that I have probably stayed up nights stressing about and haven’t just decided on the spot. Or offer support and advice? You notice im suffering from lack of sleep. Instead of telling me my parenting must be to blame, how about offering some ways to help get my child to sleep better, or offering to baby sit for a few hours so that I can get some sleep? Seems logical to me.

I will be the first to say that im not a big fan of people as a rule. For the above mentioned reasons. People tend to forget that you aren’t them and that you have your own life and cant always do, be or say what they want. I like to think that I am supportive and give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes I have been burnt a lot for this, trodden on, lied to. But I still try and think the best of people. BD seems to be the same. He has little tolerance for people screwing him around. You disrespect him, he doesn’t talk to you again.

I have few friends but those I do have I consider good friends because I can not see them for a year and know that if I call and ask them out for coffee they will be there. Or if I need help, they will be there. This to me is more important than seeing people weekly and having them get annoyed because you are too busy to see them more.

So I guess what im getting at is just that if you don’t agree, don’t feel that you have to correct or disagree with someone. Maybe say instead, i do it this way and find it works well. Or, I have heard this is good rather than that. Be nice to each other, life is hard, its easier if we help each other through it 🙂

Natural labour

We have been talking about natural ways to go into labour. I have tried Raspberry leaf tea which if drunk 2-4 times a day does seem to induce cramps but I hate the stuff so don’t drink it often enough for it to have any lasting effect. I know walking helps so I try go for a walk around the shops occasionally but lets be honest I would rather be at home on the lounge.

I brought up Castor oil with my mothers group and several people were horrified that I would even consider it. Let me make this clear, it doesn’t hurt the baby. What it does is stimulate the bowel (makes you poop) which because its next to the womb it is said to stimulate it through the bowel if that makes sense? The same thing goes for eating spicey things or curry. If it stimulates your bowel it can bring on labour. Of course im still two weeks away but im impatient 😦

A lot of the ladies in my group are being given stretch and sweeps. Where basically the midwife inserts a finger into your cervix and sweeps it around to separate the membrane and encourage labour. Its quite painful if you aren’t already at least 1cm dilated and I honestly don’t know why so many are having it as none are more than 38weeks…It does seem like doctors are very eager these days to encourage labour rather than letting it progress on its own. I think nearly 20 babies have been born so far in my July group and about half were ‘encouraged’ so either with C-sections or induction. Seems a little excessive to me. And as much as I would like to go into labour right now, I would rather it happen naturally than when the doctor dictates it because its convenient. On the other hand knowing a time and place to go into labour would be fun 🙂

So for now im stuck with minor occasional cramps as my only sign of things to come…back to the waiting game.

37weeks – full term, 3 long weeks to go

For those who don’t know even though babies gestate for 40 weeks, 37 is considered a full term baby. So now its a waiting game.

Baby: 2.8kg at scan last week, measuring in 50th percentile which is exactly average. Image

Symptoms: Heart burn!

Signs of labour: Starting to get the odd painful cramp, not regular or too painful but that’s more than I had before. Lightening crotch, which is what we call it when baby engages because his little head makes your lady parts really really sore. At the last ultrasound his head was so low that she couldn’t get a face shot for me.

We installed the car seat on Friday. We managed to get it in correctly but it wiggles. After re reading the instructions, checking all the attachments and calling in a friend who had his bub a few months ago we worked out that we need a little metal thingie to lock the seatbelt and stop it going slack. The good folks at Kidsafe have a mobile van that goes around Canberra and checks restraints for free, the metal locker I need is about $5-$10 and they can supply one. Apparently its quite a common thing to need so its surprising that the seat doesn’t come with one. Either way we will both feel better knowing the seat is in properly. I have to say though that the seat we have is a Safe n Sound convertible 0-4yrs. Its one of the smallest on the market so its ideal for smaller cars or if you need to fit three seats across the back. We installed it in the middle (after much asking why I wanted it in the middle, I just thought that’s where it went, right? Because then he is safe from side impacts?) But gosh it looks huge, its right up to the backs of the front seats of my Kia Cerato which is on the larger side of the small car market, I cant imagine how big a normal seat is.Image.

Stretch marks

Took an arty pic of the belly today.

ImageAs you can see I have more than my fair share of stretch marks. They wrap the whole way around and are creaping up to my boobs. Being a girl who got her first stretch marks at age 10 I know a thing or two about them. Im not a doctor or scientist but I want to put a few rumours to rest about them.

Firstly what are they?

Your skin regenerates every day but slowly. Stretch marks happen when your body grows quickly in a short space of time and doesn’t give your skin enough time to create enough skin cells to keep up. The skin you already have is forced to split to accommodate. Kind of like over inflating a balloon, you get those stress marks where the rubber fails. But also like a balloon once its split it cant return to its normal state. This is where a lot of the rumours can be put to rest.

Bio/ coconut oils.

These oils are applied to the skin in an effort to keep it supple. Its about as effective as having a shower. It will keep your skin soft and alleviate the itchiness that can come with the marks but it wont stop them or make them disappear, oils aren’t skin cells. Even if you read the bio oil bottle it says can reduce the appearance in as little as 3months of constant use. In 3 months your body has already started repairing the area like a scar so the fact that you have to use this product for min 3 months tells me that it doesn’t actually do anything.

Vitamin E.

Yes this is shown to improve skin suppleness but honestly like any vitamin you would have to take it for about 6months to a year before it will make any difference to your skin. It will only affect the new cells, not what is already there. So if you take it daily for a year you may avoid getting them, it will however not heal what you already have.

Exfoliation.

I cant fathom how this would help. How is getting rid of old skin going to help the new skin stretch more?? You cant rub off a scar, so you cant rub off a stretch mark.

 

The thing to remember with stretchmarks is that they are essentially small wounds and will eventually scar. I find this takes about 6months before they fade to white. About 2years before they flatten and turn silver and essentially fade to the most they ever will. My oldest are on my thighs and I cant see them anymore unless I am super super close and know to look. I got them about 15yrs ago. In order to not get them in the first place it all comes down to skin type. Same as flexibility. You either have stretchy skin or you don’t. This will also fade as you get older, like getting wrinkles, your skin just stops being able to stretch so much and will be thinner. Simple science with that one im afraid. So if you get stretch marks, don’t see it as a bad thing. Its part of your body growing and frankly if someone is close enough to see them, they are looking way too close! 

 

 

Mobile

I have a deep hatred of most of the baby toys and thing available from the shop. No particular reason, maybe because they are all so commercialised? But I have been struggling with what to do about a mobile. Did I even need one? It is bad karma to have anything over your head while you sleep because your brain tells you it might fall and injure you. I do know that having something to keep bub visually stimulated might be a god send in terms of keeping him settled so I decided to keep looking. I found a heap of beautiful ones on Etsy but they were way out of my budget. So, as I often do, I turned to Pinterest. Finally I found one that I liked and that I could make quite cheaply. Tools are basically a stick from the front yard, some fishing line (grabbed it off my fishing rod), feathers, felt. That’s it! I also used scissors and a needle to thread the fishing line through the leaves. My pug loved it too 🙂ImageImageImage

 I now need to devise a way to hang it above the cot without damaging the ceiling as we are renting. Blu tac? Sticky tape?

Crafty

I thought you might all like a look at my beautiful craft room! ImageOk so I will admit it is more of a craft corner and its less beautiful as much as a pile of stuff that I don’t have anywhere else to put. But regardless its one of my favourite places in the house because it has so many possibilities. I can sit down at my trusty Brother that I got for my 18th birthday and sew up inventions that don’t always work but are always good fun. Like the car seat cover that I attempted and is currently in the wheelie bin outside. No pic of that disaster. It also houses my tub of wonder, seen at the back. I got this to store all my supplies but as you can see it was woefully small and I couldn’t even get half of my things in it.

Do you have a craft room? Is it better than mine 😛

 

Grounding

Somber post today. I found out that my sister in law lost her little one at 36 weeks. They don’t know what happened. She realised she hadn’t felt her move so went to the hospital. They did a few scans but bub had no heartbeat. She was measuring a little small but not enough to concern them. I was actually at my baby shower when we got the news so BD’s parents left straight away to be with them at the hospital. My mum took it hard as just that night I was saying how I was nervous because we had heard of a few sleeping babies that week. She was reassuring me that most babies make it and are fine, then this happened and I think it reality hit her. Both families are now watching me like a hawk which is sweet but gives me such a bad case of paranoia that I have been avoiding talking to them. They keep asking if bub is kicking and how im feeling. I feel like saying that asking isn’t going to make any difference to bubs health but I know they are just concerned so im keeping super polite. But I wish people would stop talking to me about it, its not a mindset I want to be in at this stage 😦

I think its also going to be really hard now because I only have 4 weeks max to go so im going to have a baby while the loss is still painfully fresh in everyone’s minds. I will be at the same hospital, in the same ward. Sadly it takes a lot of the excitement out of it for me because I will be thinking of them the whole time. The funeral will be some time this week and I have no idea if I should go. The last thing she needs to see is my pregnant belly shoved in her face. Im just hoping I don’t go into labour any time soon. I want bub to be born as long after this as possible so people aren’t reminded each birthday.

Sadly also people have used this to be mean. I posted something to my group about staying positive and got a horrible comment back saying that I was a horrible person and didn’t deserve my baby. Who on earth says something like that!?! So im off the group, I considered removing myself from it but there are a lot of nice people who I would like to hear updates about so ill just not going to view the posts often.

Having said that my babyshower was still beautiful and my sister and mum went to a lot of effort and did a great job 🙂 I had a super fun time and it was great to get everyone together! The stealer of the show was our friends 3month old daughter who was super cute and I was happy to share the limelight with her 😛

Week 35 – 5 weeks to go

Im having a baby next month…well lets face it quite possibly this month! That’s such a scary exciting thought. But in terms of my body im actually feeling less pregnant. How odd is that. I just woke bub up because he hasn’t wiggled today and I wanted to make sure he was still in there. Because really I feel a lot better than I have for the past 2months. Im not sure if its because im off work and relaxing or if its just that I have the hang of what I should and shouldn’t be doing. I am proud to say that I can still shave my legs in the shower, go me!

I had my 35 week checkup on Wednesday. Bub is still head down but has moved from the left to the right. His head is engaged but the doc couldn’t tell how far. Basically that means that his head is wedged in my pelvis and not coming out until he is born. It also means that my lady parts really hurt because bub is pushing against my pelvis so I have to be careful how I move. Especially getting in and out of the car and putting pants on. My Diabetes is under control and only goes over if I have something naughty like McDonalds and even then it only goes over slightly. Im not concerned about going on insulin now, I really think they don’t want me on it and are happy for me to deliver at Calvary my chosen hospital, yay. I have another appointment at 36-37 weeks and an ultrasound to make sure bub is the right size and I can go full term. Its a diabetes thing that bub can be too big and they would  need to induce me earlier but my last scan showed a perfect bub so im not worried. My sister in law is due the week before me with an elective c-section so she has her scan this week to set a date, exciting! She may have her bub in the next few weeks!

My baby shower is tomorrow, quite excited but I will have to watch the amount of naughty foods I have. But I did have a moment the other day. I was telling a friend how BD was taking two weeks off after bub but I thought it would be easier working out a schedule by my self rather than with him home helping. She pointed out that he is taking time off to bond with his son, not to help me. I was like, oh of course he is! Its silly because every time someone asks they say, is he taking any time off to help you? Not once did I think that he wanted time off to be with the baby lol I guess its just the way people usually word it that my brain just hadn’t clicked over…im such a dolt.  We have also been invited to a friends 30th two weeks after his due date, kids not welcome. Can’t say I think ill make it lol

Its just a waiting game now…I have never been good at waiting.