Mummy wars

Im really sad that I have felt the need for this blog. I knew it would happen and im no stranger to it but today I received two nasty comments about my last post. One caused me to leave my facebook mothers group which has become less helpful and more judgemental, the other was on this blog. Im not sure when it became acceptable to criticize another persons way of life or to imply they are harming or killing their child. Not to mention doing this to a complete stranger whom you have no idea of who they are or have any knowledge of their life.

Its simple, this blog is my opinion as is any blog. I make it because I enjoy reading about others lives and how they live day to day. I don’t always agree, in fact I often don’t agree with their choices, but I never ever negatively comment, just because its not my view, doesn’t make it wrong. There is no right or wrong way to live your life or raise your children. I cant stress that enough. If you don’t agree with me im happy for you to say so but there is no need to make the comment negative or suggest that im an idiot or that I deserve for something to happen to my child or those around me. Thats not okay. I know several other bloggers recently who have also posted about this and it saddens me that manners have dropped so low. If a friend comes to me and expresses an opinion I don’t agree with I don’t berate them, I tell them I disagree then I drop it. If they continue to press the topic I just smile and nod because they have the right to their own opinion, and they respect that I don’t have to agree I just have to accept their choice.

I have found that in the pregnancy and parenting world this is a lot more evident. Instead of telling me that if I don’t breastfeed or go back to work that im harming my child, how about accepting that not everyones circumstances are the same as yours, you could support my decision that I have probably stayed up nights stressing about and haven’t just decided on the spot. Or offer support and advice? You notice im suffering from lack of sleep. Instead of telling me my parenting must be to blame, how about offering some ways to help get my child to sleep better, or offering to baby sit for a few hours so that I can get some sleep? Seems logical to me.

I will be the first to say that im not a big fan of people as a rule. For the above mentioned reasons. People tend to forget that you aren’t them and that you have your own life and cant always do, be or say what they want. I like to think that I am supportive and give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes I have been burnt a lot for this, trodden on, lied to. But I still try and think the best of people. BD seems to be the same. He has little tolerance for people screwing him around. You disrespect him, he doesn’t talk to you again.

I have few friends but those I do have I consider good friends because I can not see them for a year and know that if I call and ask them out for coffee they will be there. Or if I need help, they will be there. This to me is more important than seeing people weekly and having them get annoyed because you are too busy to see them more.

So I guess what im getting at is just that if you don’t agree, don’t feel that you have to correct or disagree with someone. Maybe say instead, i do it this way and find it works well. Or, I have heard this is good rather than that. Be nice to each other, life is hard, its easier if we help each other through it 🙂

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