Friends

I am always surprised when people tell me they still hang around with the people they went to school with. The reason we got along in school was because we had common likes, we saw each other daily at school and were going through the same experiences, ie being a teenager. But once you leave school people go their separate ways, some go to school, some get apprenticeships, some move away. As time passes you will find you have less and less in common and some people cant handle this and get bitchy if they think your life is better or vice versa. This was at least my experience and that of my sister and several other people I know within a year or two of leaving school.

My best friend, we were the only two from our college group still in Canberra, one day sent me what was essentially a break up email saying that I clearly had no time for her because I was spending it all with my new boyfriend and work friends and I never invited her to things. I will point out that at this stage this was my first boyfriend (she had had several and I always made time for them) and I had been on a total of two dates with him, secondly we each had two jobs, a full time and a night, and I had been trying to arrange coffee for three months with no reply from her to the point I contacted her parents because I was worried. We were also 24yrs old! No I wasn’t going to invite her to someone elses house when I was hanging out with my work friends, they don’t know her, it would be inappropriate and im aloud to have a life outside of her. Plus she had several friends who I had never met who she often hung out with. So basically this email was completely random and demonstrated why some people shouldn’t be in my life. She finished with, if I see you in the street I will be polite but otherwise I never want to speak to you again…

An adult friend to me is someone who you see when you both have free time, you hang out for a few hours to catch up, have a coffee, then you both go back to your lives. I do actually consider a few people I went to school with friends, but these are people I have known since pre school and who I maybe see once a year and send each other a card when they have a kid or get married. We are happy for each other but let each other live their own life and don’t complain if they are busy when we want to hang out, that’s life. I bring this up because I have noticed allot of posts and comments from new mums on my discussion boards where ‘friends’ are getting annoyed that they cant go out as much, or wont talk to them because they aren’t happy in their lives and are jealous of your recent happiness in having a baby. I mean honestly? These are the kind of people where you need to step back and wonder, if they cant be happy for you then why are you still hanging around with them…My phrase of choice is ‘good luck with that’ basically, good luck being negative and blaming others that your life hasn’t gone as you planned. Drama Drama Drama.

 

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