I just read an article which has alarmed me. I found it on pinterest (love!) and it was about when your little man stops wanting to go into the ladies room with you and wants to use the mens room. I clicked on it thinking, yes, hadnt thought of that. But omg its given me a whole new stress. Apparently her concern was that he would be molested in there…is that seriously a thing!!! I mean that hadnt even occurred to me!!. This was an american article so im hoping Aussie men are a little more trust worthy. My concern before reading this was that he would pee on the floor or not know what a urinal cake was. My solution at this stage is either the parents room so i can see him go in and out of the loo. Or the disabled toilet. Im yet to see a disabled person use one so im pritty confident i wouldnt be inconveniencing anyone. Back up is the first few times make sure dad is there to go in with him and teach him the ropes.
But this got me thinking about other things mums of boys have to worry about. I mean, i dont have a penis. When do i give him the talk because it involves things that im pritty sure happen earlier for boys than girls. Like wet dreams. And dont play with it in public. Laugh if you will but i remember several little boys in primary school who would whip it out in class and have a play. I could always leave it up to his dad but i think he would hate having to do that talk so i think it will fall to me. We gave my brother the book, Where did i come from, when he started asking. He handed it back and said ‘yeah right’ and it took us several days to convince him it wasnt a joke. So im thinking an educational movie might be the go to ease him into the idea. In year 6 our school broke us into two groups, boys and girls, to discuss puberty because one of my friends got her period and she was the first ever in that school. They had to install a special sanitary disposal bin for her. So they sat us down and showed us a pad and opened up question time. Then in highschool we got shown the puberty video about boobs and voices changing and hair growing etc. Then we got the gross video. Did you ever get it? Its the one where the old dood tells us about sperm and says, here is some i collected myself this morning…dood! We didnt need to know that was yours, you could have just said, here is some sperm!
So anyway, i think there will be a few talks. Maybe along these lines:
- 1-3yrs keep it in your pants. Girls have a vagina.
- Primary school – kissing and bad touch. Ie. don’t touch other people. Don’t let them touch you.
- Late primary – Where do babies come from? Body image.
- Highschool – Erections and emissions. Puberty (voice, hair). Urges and safe sex (i know its a little early for sex but i would rather he know). I will also explain a little about what girls are going through so he isn’t clueless.
- Late highschool – Safe sex, diseases, teen pregnancy. Realities of becoming a father. (scare him off the idea for a few years)
- I will let his friends tell him about porn. I think this is something kids need to think their parents dont know about 😛
I would much rather have the period talk than the erection talk but, im the mother of a boy. I will use alot of books to do the explaining i think. Awkward talks by late primary are not helpful. Might see if i can find a copy of, Where do i come from?