Grounding

Somber post today. I found out that my sister in law lost her little one at 36 weeks. They don’t know what happened. She realised she hadn’t felt her move so went to the hospital. They did a few scans but bub had no heartbeat. She was measuring a little small but not enough to concern them. I was actually at my baby shower when we got the news so BD’s parents left straight away to be with them at the hospital. My mum took it hard as just that night I was saying how I was nervous because we had heard of a few sleeping babies that week. She was reassuring me that most babies make it and are fine, then this happened and I think it reality hit her. Both families are now watching me like a hawk which is sweet but gives me such a bad case of paranoia that I have been avoiding talking to them. They keep asking if bub is kicking and how im feeling. I feel like saying that asking isn’t going to make any difference to bubs health but I know they are just concerned so im keeping super polite. But I wish people would stop talking to me about it, its not a mindset I want to be in at this stage 😦

I think its also going to be really hard now because I only have 4 weeks max to go so im going to have a baby while the loss is still painfully fresh in everyone’s minds. I will be at the same hospital, in the same ward. Sadly it takes a lot of the excitement out of it for me because I will be thinking of them the whole time. The funeral will be some time this week and I have no idea if I should go. The last thing she needs to see is my pregnant belly shoved in her face. Im just hoping I don’t go into labour any time soon. I want bub to be born as long after this as possible so people aren’t reminded each birthday.

Sadly also people have used this to be mean. I posted something to my group about staying positive and got a horrible comment back saying that I was a horrible person and didn’t deserve my baby. Who on earth says something like that!?! So im off the group, I considered removing myself from it but there are a lot of nice people who I would like to hear updates about so ill just not going to view the posts often.

Having said that my babyshower was still beautiful and my sister and mum went to a lot of effort and did a great job 🙂 I had a super fun time and it was great to get everyone together! The stealer of the show was our friends 3month old daughter who was super cute and I was happy to share the limelight with her 😛

Its not easy being green

So im sitting here wondering whether or not to wake my BD. He has been asleep all afternoon and has a tendency to not sleep at night when he does this, like, at all. But I have a rule not to wake nappers so I might just subtitly poke him lol

Anyway, im actually blogging about green and gifts today. Why green? Well people seem to hate it…I know. It was a total shock to me too. As im not a fan of pink a lot of the stuff im buying is

blue, green or grey. Even when we know the gender I still love green. Yet when ever I buy green stuff people make a comment. Buying the carseat the chick told me I wouldn’t want a green one because its a horrible shade. I insisted she get it in for me, and I love it! Then yesterday I was doing some sneaky shopping (I actually am very poor so shouldn’t have been shopping) and grabbed a super cute set of 3 green onesies. A work colleague came past and commented not to buy yucky green and to get white instead. I mean honestly, I was already holding it why would you comment and white is so boring!

But this brings me to another point I may have already blogged about. People keep telling me not to buy things because people will give it to me as a gift. Well folks I’m nearly half way and have only received one outfit from my sister as a congrats and a few op shops finds from mum. Am I meant so sit around on my hands and expect the world to be given to me? Its like buying a house but not putting anything in it because you might get it at the house warming…Sounds dumb right? So yes I am expecting some gifts near the end or when bub is born but I figure they will be things like creams and gift packs and toys, not practical stuff like a firstaid kit, wraps, bottles, a cot, or pram. And frankly shopping is half the fun, why have a kid if you don’t get to chose what they wear or what their room looks like? So no im not just going to sit back and hope the world throws free things at me, im going to go out and get the things I need, and yes, they will be green!