Somber post today. I found out that my sister in law lost her little one at 36 weeks. They don’t know what happened. She realised she hadn’t felt her move so went to the hospital. They did a few scans but bub had no heartbeat. She was measuring a little small but not enough to concern them. I was actually at my baby shower when we got the news so BD’s parents left straight away to be with them at the hospital. My mum took it hard as just that night I was saying how I was nervous because we had heard of a few sleeping babies that week. She was reassuring me that most babies make it and are fine, then this happened and I think it reality hit her. Both families are now watching me like a hawk which is sweet but gives me such a bad case of paranoia that I have been avoiding talking to them. They keep asking if bub is kicking and how im feeling. I feel like saying that asking isn’t going to make any difference to bubs health but I know they are just concerned so im keeping super polite. But I wish people would stop talking to me about it, its not a mindset I want to be in at this stage 😦
I think its also going to be really hard now because I only have 4 weeks max to go so im going to have a baby while the loss is still painfully fresh in everyone’s minds. I will be at the same hospital, in the same ward. Sadly it takes a lot of the excitement out of it for me because I will be thinking of them the whole time. The funeral will be some time this week and I have no idea if I should go. The last thing she needs to see is my pregnant belly shoved in her face. Im just hoping I don’t go into labour any time soon. I want bub to be born as long after this as possible so people aren’t reminded each birthday.
Sadly also people have used this to be mean. I posted something to my group about staying positive and got a horrible comment back saying that I was a horrible person and didn’t deserve my baby. Who on earth says something like that!?! So im off the group, I considered removing myself from it but there are a lot of nice people who I would like to hear updates about so ill just not going to view the posts often.
Having said that my babyshower was still beautiful and my sister and mum went to a lot of effort and did a great job 🙂 I had a super fun time and it was great to get everyone together! The stealer of the show was our friends 3month old daughter who was super cute and I was happy to share the limelight with her 😛