Where im not pregnant

no really. Several relatives have lately said to me ‘the next one cant be far off’ then look meanfully at my stomach. I would like to set the record straight. Im not pregnant, im fat. I mean seriously, if i was pregnant enough to be obviously showing i would be well past 12weeks and we would have told everyone. We arent trying, we arent even thinking of trying. BD is happy at one, i want another but not for another year or so. I dont want to have to start the baby phase from scratch but i also dont want to be diapering 2 babies and getting up twice as much at night. So another year at the least. 

But seriously, are we still accusing fat women of being two people in 2015. Have people not learnt to not assume?!? My stomach is large because thats how i store fat after having a baby. My abs have given up, and my stomach is now the same dimensions as my boobs. This does not make me pregnant. Please stop staring at my gut. 

Week 17 or 18

At my antinatal appointment on Friday she informed me that they actually get my due date from my last menstral cycle which makes me due on the 4th. This is just bloody confusing. Why wait until you are halfway to see the clinic because now i have no idea when im due as they want to use that data yet everyone else is using the 13th. Thats 9days difference! You might be thinking thats not that much and what does it matter, bub will come when it wants to. Yes thats true but all of my appointments have been booked off the 13th and my leave through work is booked off the 13th and i dont know if they can be changed. This means that im going on leave 2weeks later than i should be…So for now she has left my due date as the 13th but now i have no idea which date to go off ūüė¶ She said they have to make sure its accurate as they need to know when to¬†induce me if¬†i go over. ¬†

Symptoms: Heart burn. I take a quick-eze everynight before bed. The heat is also making my hands and feet swell.

Baby: 13cm and about 170g (if im 17weeks).

I also found the nurse very patronising. I of course got the fat talk. For you thin girls the fat talk is when the doctor, all doctors, break the news that your over weight (really, i didnt realise!) and that its bad for my health (no shit) and that the best way to lose it is eating well and exercising (they must think we are idiots) then they tell you all the side effects of being fat. I generally zone out for this whole talk. I mean im 108kg did they think i was under the illusion that i am skinny??? They also assume you dont eat veg or fruit so give you a phamplet on the food pyramid. My GP gave me the fat talk about a year ago and ordered a whole bunch of tests then had to eat her words when she realised i was perfectly healthy and eat better than my 56kg sister. Steriotype much.

So anyway after the fat talk she tells me that the hospital needs to know my weight and the guy will talk to me about the epi as it can have risks when your fat. I told her that i didnt want an epi. She just patted my shoulder and kept talking. I was shocked that she was being that patronising, shouldnt she be encouraging natural birth? the pat was essentially saying, yeah you are young and wouldnt understand that of course you will be getting an epi. I couldnt wait to get out of that office.

I always hate seeing new doctors because you have to sit there and give info and¬†be told things you already know. If you try and interrupt and say you already know all that they just smile and keep going. I had a girl at the gym¬†once take me through the mandatory session on how to use the equipment. I told her i¬†already knew how to use it all, she just looked me up and down and¬†said, recently? I almost slapped her. I was actually a bit of a gym junky and went to the gym 3 times a week.¬†So i really wish that people would stop generalising their care of patients and at the start of the visit actually ask, do you need info on…Unfortunatley mine told me all about breastfeeding, what i can and cant eat, how big the baby was, the fat talk, I could have saved her the trouble as i have already read up on all of those things and didnt need to be told again. So i just sat there saying, yep, ok, yep and wasted an hour of my life.

Not to mention this is the most uneventful pregnancy ever. Im not sick, or big. Everyone just keeps telling me to enjoy it, im like, enjoy what, nothing? Enjoy people asking me how the baby is and i say i have no idea? Or they ask how im feeling and i say fine and they glare at me like this is such an insult to other women or that im just saying it to be annoying. I had an akward conversation with my aunt who cant have children but has had several missacrriges. I told her how im feeling fine and didnt get morning sickness at all. She looked at me like i was a horrible person and had just told her I was the queen of the world, then she just said enjoy it and walked off. What am i meant to say to that, sorry im feeling so healthy?? Lie and tell her i feel like crap just so that she will be happy?