no, im technically not a single parent but as my partner is only home one day a week it often feels that way. So here are my top tips to being a single parent (most of the time):
- Batch cook. You never know when something will crop up or your kid will throw a fit so cook in bulk and eat easy during the week.
- Have many snacks on hand. This comes back to batch cooking, muffins and cookies can be healthy dinners if you make them yourself.
- Teach your child to be self sufficient. As i was running out the house this morning i looked down and realised i had forgotten to put rues shoes on, thabkfully he had put his boots on himself.
- Keep spares in the car. Shoes, for when you forget them, changes of clothes for when you get to daycare and realise how dirty your kids clothes are.
- Odd socks are fine
- Have some activities on hand for crazy times. These are things you can pull out and guarantee you a few minutes to wash the dishes. (Water frozen in a bowl, add salt and watercolors)
- When sanity disolves, get out of the house. Take the kids for a walk or just go for a drive to drivethrough. A change of scenery clears the crazies.
i have been exhausted keeping up with rue latley. Mostly emotionally. He seems to be having breakdowns left right and center, he wont listen, he hits and throws. I put it down to terrible 2s. Then i was telling mum about it today and she said i cant let him get away with it. I cast this off as she lives in another state and doesnt know how i parent. But then i stopped and thought about that. Is rue behaviour because of his age or is it something else?
I thought about it and realised that each time he has started acting out in the past its been because i wasnt doing something and he was actually ready to move forward in his development and needed me to move forward too.
Last week i realised that he is prefectly happy to take his own dishes to the kitchen after meals. He will pick food up off the floor with a little encouragement. So today i thought ok maybe im not giving him enough credit and he needs me to guide him more. So i asked him to clean up. He happily sung ‘ok clean up’ while putting away his toys! I assume this is something he has learnt from daycare. Then while i was giving him a bath the tv shut off and rather than turn it back on i did some yoga with him on the floor (im not a fan of the floor as the rug is encrusted in doghair) but he was so happy.
My realisation is that its not terrible 2s as much as i needed to guide him as a young child, not a baby. He needs more of my time not just me being in the room but me actually playing with him. I am watching a few youtube videos about toddler taming which have been helpful, im already doing some things but not others. So im going to make a few changes. For one im going to have tv off time each day where he gets my whole attention. Even if its just an hour or two a few times a day. I will also give him instructions and wait until they are followed, rather than just doing things for him.
I already practice calm mum calm baby but sometimes when im tired i let it get to me rather than followiny my own rules.
Ill let you all know how this goes!
im at my wits end right now. No nap and a psycho toddler + lack if sleep last night = frayed mumma. Not to mention i was really excited to think i could start a course in childcare, the two people i told were both non enthused so now im bummed. They dont seem to realise that i need a litte enthusiasm. My life consists of working then comig home to a screaming toddler. I need something to get excited about! Even if it doesnt work out at least im trying to bring a little spice to my life right?!? Coupled with the fact that we decided to re home our dogs but my manager who was meant to collect one of them this week keeps giving me the run around, if it was a stranger i would have told them to bugger off by now.
So yes, iv had enough of this month. Rue was teething last week and inconsoleable crying, not sleeping at all for a full 5 days. I just feel like banging my head on a wall somewhere. I know it will get better but when! Ugh. I have the next two weeks off and am wondering if they will be relaxing or stressful. Oh and my foot aches so much when i walk i hate even standing 😪
Ok rant over. Heres to next year and hopefully a calmer toddler and maybe someone will get excited about my study…
rue is nearly two and a half! Im really loving this age. He has started becoming a real little person. He takes instruction and understands us so much better than even a few months ago. He will walk with me holding my hand most of the time and mostly stops when i tell him too (we are still working on this one). He will start swimming lessons next year and toilet training over christmas.
He loves babies and takes care of his cousin giving him toys when he cries. He pats the dogs when they let him andrides them like a horse when he catches them. He loves painting and coloring but mostly loves water!
He hates having his nappy changed and always wants another story before bed. He loves baths and will try and climb in fully clothed if you arent careful.
im burnt out. Well and truley. Im tired 10mins after i get out of bed. The last 4 weekends my man has been out helping friends with things, now he is back to driving and only home for a few hours after i leave for work. I have cooked, cleaned and gardened and mostly worked on the budget. Im just exhausted thinking about it, it seems never ending. Normally this is when i would say i need a holiday but im broke and i dont know how relaxing it would be anyway. Bad news is its not going to get easier any time soon. The man is about to go to Queensland for a week for a wedding and this weekend he is busy again.
I do have a week off between the public holidays in about a week which will give me a breather but right now im at that point where thinking about it im nearly in tears. I just need to work out something to get me out of the funk i think. Something to give me time to take a deep breath and get out of the day to day. I used to do a friday ‘date’ with rue where we would go do something fun but i have just been too broke to do it since april!
So, any ideas? What do you do when you get burnt out? This little guy both helps and hinders my relaxation ☺️
little man has been sick the last few days which means im home with him. Its an odd thing. I dont feel bad about calling in sick because they manage just fine without me. But i do feel like i am being judged on just how sick he is. I get the feeling that people are looking at me and thinking im just using him as an excuse not to go to work. Society makes parents feel like they have to suck it up and make their kids go to school/ daycare. Where as to me the point of being a parent is to be there when your kids need you whether its a cold or a chest infection. There shouldnt be a ‘sick enough’ there should just be acceptance that i feel the need to take time to care for my child.
So today i took time to bake and make him healthy food so that i know i am helping him get better. On the menu was homemade chicken nuggets and raisin bread (he ended out eating two croissants and 2 slices of cheese, oh well). And a few minutes for mummy to relax after a few long nights with a fresh pot of chai.
i have been thinking about being a parent latley. That old saying that you wont understand until you have a child 100% correct. You may think you know but you dont. My sister even said this a few months after her son was born, she laughed about all the things she had said to me about parenthood before he was born. ‘Ill just get a baby sitter’ is a good one, ‘ill totally keep working out’ nice thought until she was 3months pregnant, ‘people who over stay their visit’ yep new parents may be bored but having people over is just a new level of stress, you cant concentrate on the convo, they keep the baby awake, your routine gets thrown out. Or my fave ‘i can drink ill just pump first’ this one she learnt quickly. Not only will some babies not take a bottle but the idea that you will feel like ‘partying’ as a new parent is ridiculious. Of course when i tried to tell her any of this before she had him i got met with rolled eyes and ‘you will see’ comments. Or even better people who plan holidays for the babies first year? I mean why?!? How the mighty fall haha
Now that im the mother of a toddler im still trying to tell people my limits. They never believe me. ‘Dont let him out of the pram he will just run off’ is usually met with, he will be fine followed by, oh maybe we should have left him in the pram as he sprints for the road. Or my sister often asks us for bbqs which would be great except she wants to go to the lake, where i will spend the entire time running after rue and zero time eating or joining in conversations. Or grandparents who try and give him 5cream biscuits then wonder why he threw up. But when i said no more than one i get rolled eyes. So when a parent tells your their rules and boundaries dont roll your eyes. Stop and think that there may actually be a reason for those rules! Because you know, i only spend 24/7 with him. How would i know what he will do?
One thing that has always bugged me though starts from day one. When a new mum goes into hospital and her main concern is shaving her legs and straightening her hair…the fact that in todays society women are more concerned with shaving their legs than recovering and having a few days to relax and bond is so sad to me. When i said this to my mothers group when they were listing their hospital bag contents they all said ‘oh but i cant relax knowing im all hairy and my hairs a mess. I still have to look good.’ It makes me so sad that women think that they dont look good as they are. No one else cares that your legs are hairy and frankly who is looking that close, or that your hair is in a pony rather than streightened. We as women need to just step back and accept what we look like and who we are without all of the primping and priming that we do daily. Just be.
there are lots of things people dont tell you about being a mum. Here is a list of things i learnt or do:
- Woolies deliveries are a god send when you have to do a big grocery shop or have heavy items. Helps you stick to a list and a budget too.
- Pick a day of the week to cook up big batches and dont be afraid to give your kids toast for dinner occasionally.
- Its ok for them to go to bed in their clothes. Pajamas are just clothes after all.
- They will eventually go to sleep so you may as well make use of the time you have to be awake at 11pm by watching that show your partner hates.
- Cleaning can wait. If you are tired, the laundry does not have to go on today.
- If your kid brings you a book. Stop what you are doing and read to them. This goes for toys too. There will be time for tv and facebook later.
- Make your kids like shows you can stand to watch 100 times. Rue likes Stepford Wives, River cottage Australia and The Cleveland show.
- No one cares if they wear odd socks. Or pajamas to daycare. They are kids, no point fighting with them if they dont want to get changed. (School aged children are another matter)
- Try not to be precious about posessions/ clothes. They wont last forever anyway. If they get dirty or stained just shrug and move on. This saves alot of stress, trust me.
- You can offer them the best food in the world, that doesnt mean they will eat it. Do your best and if you try three things and they refuse, hey, a biscuit is food.
A question was asked in our mothers group that i laughed at but it seems im in the minority. A woman asked when it was appropriate for her 11yr old to start shaving…well when she gets hairy would be my answer. But apparently many mums thought this was something to be seriously considered and many said that they would sit her down and talk about body image and that they didnt think it was safe for her to have a razor and should wax…seriously?!?
When did we become so controlling? When i was a kid when i got hairy legs and pits i grabbed a razor and shaved it off. there was no discussion, fankly i think mum would have thought i was odd if i wanted to talk about it. Its hair. Its not like you are giving them a barbers flip blade. And waxing hurts! When i asked a friend about this she agreed with the other mums and said that maybe it was because i have a boy not a girl that im less sensitive to it. I really think that has nothing to do with it. Frankly i think we make too many decisions and actions for our kids and should just let go and let them work things out for them selves. If my little man wants to shave his chin, go for it! Im happy if he wants his dad to show him how to do it so you dont get shaving rash but otherwise, its hair, its not a big deal. Now if you tell me you want to go get drunk or get a tattoo under the age of 18 then we will have issues little man lol
I realised i haven’t done an update on me and Rue since he was born so here we go:
My weight: Back to normal weight as of week 2 (108kg) but excess skin still there so wearing one size up.
Bubs size: weight 5kg, length 56cm, head 40cm. He is slipping down the growth chart which is a little concerning but seems happy so the nurse isnt too worried. Wearing 000.
Baby development: Smiling, laughing, holds head steady when held, hates tummy time, sucking fists having about 100ml milk 6 times a day.
Work status: Back to half maternity pay after 4 weeks of full pay. Mat leave ends April 2015, not looking forward to it 😦
- Get Rue to drink 150ml each feed.
- Get Rue into his crib as he is out growing his bassinet.
- Tighten abs.
- Lose 10kg to get under 100kg.
- Eat healthier
- Spend less money on food.
- Encourage Rue to hold his head up during tummy time.
- Pay off credit card (maybe this month)